Dear Grandpa,

Isaac & I almost broke up. This was a few weeks ago. It happened twice. It's so hard because there are periods of time when I am too busy to see him & he has no chance to see me. I cannot believe how insane this all is. Everything is perfect now, but it was hard. The thing is that he is so willing to give up, so willing to believe that he is not enough for me that he suggests we break up.  It is actually worrying. Because, I love him so very much & ... I'm just scared. Very, very, very scared. Falling in love with him wasn't really in the plan ... I also ... He wants to move to North Dakota to the middle of no where & have 6 children. I want to live on my own for a while in a condo in a nice downtown area like downtown Stillwater. After awhile of being on my own I do want to settle down. I want to have 2 kids, & live in a place rather like my own home right now. Not in the city, but close enough to not be outside of the suburbs. He & I have very few dreams in common ... I have no idea how to feel about this ... I can see myself marrying him, but I can also see myself dating other guys in college ... I don't know. It's too soon to even begin to think like this. All I know is I love him more than anything else in my life. Well ... okay, for my own health my friends are still on top, but he is a close second. I'm tearing up right now because of the unbelievably sweet things he says to me. I cannot even begin to explain how much I love him. Well, I should probably be off to bed. I miss you Grandpa. Send me your guidance, I could use it now more than ever.
Love,
Me.

Dear Grandpa,

My life is an endless circle of chaos. That's the exact word Isaac said last night to me. He told me that I am chaos. I didn't realize it until just now how much that hurt me. I have stayed up well past the time I should have been asleep to talk with him on the phone. Not only that but he wakes me up every morning by calling me. I love him, I really really do but ... I can't go on like this. I can't be awake as long as he is. I ... I don't want to compare because it's not fair, he & I are two very different people. I just ... I wish that he were easier to love. I miss you so very much. Send me guidance please.
Love,
Me.