Hey, Grandpa! Life is ... a hot mess. Isaac is wonderful, but I feel a little weird ... 1. I haven't kissed anyone since freshman year. 2. I don't know how to FEEL when kissing. 3. I don't know what to DO. 4. He calls me his favorite person ever & ... I just ... I feel guilty because he's not my favorite yet ... I mean Shaadiah & I have been best friends since Kindergarten ... He's not my favorite guy yet either ... I mean ... I love him. As a friend & as a person but not romantically yet. I am desperately in like with him no doubt. HE IS A BIG WARM TEDDY BEAR!!! What's not to like? He's ... amazing. I know, I use that word all the time but ... GAH! It's how I feel. Mom is an even bigger mess. Dear goodness. I don't worship her, I disapprove of her parenting, she sits on her butt in front of the computer & plays on Facebook. I mean, REALLY?!? So it makes her mad when I don't think she's the most amazing person in the world. She & I will NEVER be able to work together. EVER. We have conflicting opinions on everything. Anyways, we had a falling out on Thursday because I hurt her feelings by posting a status saying, "Wow. It must be a record. A day ruined in a hour. Lucky me." Apparently that's talking all about her & saying how horribly she's ruining my life ... Sorry, I know she's my mom but she really needs to lose the ego. I won't complain about how much I dislike her anymore ... or at least I'll try. Isaac lives so far away ... it's killing me. I still feel cold without him. It's so pathetic, but that's okay because he feels the same. I see him Wednesday. Idk how though ... mom is refusing to pick me up. I'll figure something out. Well WE will. I have come to contact with the fact that when you start dating someone, the rest of the world suddenly wants to be with you. Tristan is quite possibly the greatest guy EVER ... well ... okay ... he is really amusing & we have a boat load of fun. He told me he has a crush on me today. Then a boy named Chaos who is Tristan's best friend & also a very fun but a little more inappropriate person said it was too bad I have a boyfriend. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?!? 3 years. I was single for over 3 years & within a few weeks I've had 3 guys confess attraction ... OH yeah there's also a guy named Ian. He asked me out sort of ... he asked if we could hang out & he blushed a lot & my mom was trying to get me to "date" him for awhile. He goes to college at Gustavus. I said we could hang out but I'm going to have to make it clear that I'm seeing someone because I can't lead the guy on. It'd be mean, & I'd feel WAY too awkward. Anthony & Anna are as hell-ish as ever. I'm really looking forward to college. Seriously. But I have a paper to write which shouldn't take too long so ... I should go. Farewell to Logan, & Michael, & Andy. They gave this up. & by this, I mean a Shaadiah rated 8. ;) I thought I was more of a 6-ish but apparently I'm a lot more attractive than I've ever thought ... oops! Isaac is the sweetest, most wonderful guy in the world & I really can't be any happier with him. Of course I go home & wish I were dead ... I'll get passed this. But only with your help. Please keep Isaac & me on track. Oh, another worry ... Isaac dated a college girl ... what if he had sex with her? I hadn't even thought about it until I went bowling with Mikaela on Saturday. Idk how to ask ... Anyways, help me stay on the right path, Grandpa. I need you now more than ever. I love & miss you.
Love,
Me.
