Happy late Father's Day ... I meant to write you but ... well I mean to do a lot of things & they just slip from my grasp. I turned 18 two days ago & I feel different ... This may be a first. I'm realizing that Isaac has no outlet & it's really starting to get on my nerves. He wants a perfect girl & that's not who I am. I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but we are getting more physical, & ... I don't think I like it. I mean, it's not like I'm going to say no, but it makes me feel gross afterwards & ... idk. I love him, I do, but ... I'm more of the short peck, hold hands, cuddle kind of girl & he's ... well he's a teenaged boy. I now understand why most people wait until after college. I'm not sure where our relationship is heading but if it keeps on this course I may have to jump ships ... I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS!!!!!!!! Oh goodness. It's one thing to think it, but to have it in writing ... Goodness. He said we needed to have a "little chat" at 10:30 ... It's now 11:33 & he sends me a passive agressive text, "Good talk we had there." WHAT IS THIS?!?!? I feel like he's not even trying. Expecting me to get up & go to his house while he does nothing to get here. I understand we can't snog as much here, but honestly, THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!!! ... At least, not for me ... Ah well, it's time for me to focus on the one thing that will never change. Me. Okay, that doesn't exactly work as we are all forever changing ... I just need to focus on myself. I am 18 now, I need to get my self together. So, I have a To Do List to write & a world to save. I love you. I have missed you so much in the past 2 months, with me graduating, turning 18, Father's Day, parties, & just life. This is a huge time in my life & I wish I could share it with you. Next week I am doing Summer Blast which is a program in which I lead a group of kids (there are a bunch of these groups) & in the morning, we do community service & in the afternoon we go to a fun place. I did this 6 years ago, & it was a blast so I'm SUPER stoked for this. This week end I'm jumping between work & Girl Scout Camp with Anna, then in 2 weeks we are going to Illinois. I hope to meet some friends out there too. My life is insanely busy right now & I haven't seen any of my friends & I won't be able to see them, not for a while. This isn't how I planned my summer to go ... but it's not a bad thing, just disappointing. & a little sad. I have a life to live & I just need to keep a stiff upper lip & keep going. I love you, give my love to Grandpa S.
Love,
Me.
